I know, that death, is a part of the circle of our lives. It is part of the medicine wheel teachings... but I still have trouble with people who have lived honestly and with compassion for their fellow humans... suffering like that.
Dammit I MISS her! I miss her laugh, I miss her smile, I miss her voice... she always knew when I needed to hear from her... and the phone would ring. That was a two-way street with us... we were always tuned in to each other's frequency. The hurt I feel today... is a selfish thing I guess, for I know Cindy is just fine, but I'm just NOT. I will never ever make sense of her experience. I do not understand why she had to suffer as she did, and why she had to die as she did, when she did. It is number one on my questions for God whenever I have the opportunity. I KNOW we are not supposed to ask such things... but ya know that whole "where were you when I created the earth" thing just does NOT help me to understand.